YCC Rewind 1x

YE01

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A relationship is a bond you form with another individual such as family, friends, roommates, co-workers, youth centre staff or a romantic partner. Each relationship is different and it has varying degrees of appropriateness but one thing all relationships share is that in order for them to be healthy there needs to be a mutual form of trust and respect. For a youth entering a romantic relationship there can be many hardships that manifest due to lack of knowledge and rumours about what a "relationship" entails. Relationships in movies, TV and books do not accurately represent what real issues youth have when it comes to dating. Talking to parents, youth allies and their partner will help youth develop a better understanding on what a true relationship means to them. Here are some tips as to what to do to create a healthy relationship and what to look out for in dealings with an unhealthy one. Be Cautious around Social Media: becoming "Facebook Official" is a sweet way to show affection but do not over clog your friends newsfeed with posts back and forth from your significant other; private message works much better. As well do not broadcast any conflicts or fights online - unless something dangerous occurred then reach out to the links at the bottom of this article for support in dealing with an abusive relationship. Talk to one Another: Having clear, open, honest and assertive communication is key to a healthy relationship. Open communica- tion can help to avoid conflicts. Here are some tips to having constructive conversations: • Make the time to talk. Make sure you have the time to have the discussion and make sure it is in person if possible. Texting or through email can lead to the wrong impression. • Actively listen to what your partner is saying. Do not interrupt and do not get caught up in what you are going to say next; follow what they are saying. • Ask questions that you feel will better help you understand the issue or ask them to repeat themselves if you did not fully comprehend what was discussed. • Share information that connects you to their issue. Be Flexible and Dependable: Situations change and relationships grow. In your youth there are many changes and challenges that you will face, it is important to be able to accept the change and adapt the relationship. Being flexible and realizing each other's needs in this time are important for continuation. It may have to be that you must take a few steps back from your partner to deal with the current issue. Fight Fair: In even in the healthiest of relationships there is bound to be conflict. Always remember when arguing and negotiating to keep these tips in mind: • Again make time to talk. Especially in a conflict the tone cannot be read over text messages so make sure the talk is in person. Make sure you are calm and relaxed, and be sure to finish the conversation and don't leave angry. • Don't criticize. It is easy to give blame to others but try to avoid it. Try to use "I feel" rather than "you are". • Say I'm sorry. Take responsibility for your actions • Don't hold grudges. You do not have to accept everything but once something has been resolved try to avoid bringing it back up later. • There may not be a resolved ending. Not every issue has a clear solution, compromising or disagreeing on some issues is normal. Healthy relationships don't demand perfection; the goal is for partners to seek answers to their problems together. Maintenance: Getting to know someone does not happen as quickly or smoothly as we like to think. Different relationships need different amounts of attention; some need occasional 'checking in' while others HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS By Meghan Payment 20

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